Our editors rate all the poets
A quick chatGPT prompt: who are the top living poets today?
Disclaimer: If it can be called a critique, then it’s a critique of generative AI.
A couple weeks ago, I was listening to a tech-podcast about generative AI and its inability to follow precise instructions. The prompt was somewhat incredulous, but nothing too hard for a computer to follow: Write a fifteen word sentence, where the first word is anyways, the third to last number was a number, and the last word is an animal.
While listening to the podcast, I dabbled in career prospects as a prompt engineer. I considered writing articles about chatGPT generated poems, but each poem was very boring. Like roses are red, violets are blue, except it’d say something like violets are carrot cake because as I learned recently beet-carrot cake is the rage. Thanks, wellpreneurs!
With the boring range of ChatGPT , I decided to ask “Who are the top living poets today”, then expanded the prompt with a rating system based on their batting averages. Fortunately, ChatGPT recognized that the poets are not baseball players, so it’s not feasible to assign them a batting average. ChatGPT acquiesced to my request anyways
However, if we were to play along with your question in a playful manner, we could consider his "batting averages" in terms of her poetic output and reception.
All the Living Poets
Gwendolyn MacEwen was just introduced to me a few months ago. I feel like she could’ve starred opposite Matt Dillon in Gus Van Sant’s Drugstore Cowboy. Years later Van Sant might’ve called MacEwen for a bit part in My Own Private Idaho.
Ocean Vuong is a poet who often times gets compartmentalized with Mary Oliver. Nothing spectacular. I’ve read Vuong’s work hosted on the Poetry Foundation’s website. Vuong studied with Ben Lerner at Brooklyn College at the City University of New York. Lerner is one of those writers that I read about when I read a lot of Tao Lin. Lerner is mid at best.
Claudia Rankine was assigned reading for a poetry workshop. Not Citizen, but her book Don’t Let Me Be Lonely. It was a cool picture. Might’ve been the first time I remember seeing that type of hybrid work.
Anne Carson’s Nox might’ve been the first book object that I ever read at a Border’s in Lawrence, Kansas. All the Border’s Books are parking lots now. It was the last stop of the bookstore trip that I’d perform when visiting Lawrence. First, I’d stop by the Half-Price Books on 23rd because K-10 turned into 23rd street. Once I parked in the Border’s parking lot down on New Hampshire Street. From there I’d walk over to the used book store with lots of cats, then over to the Raven. Quite the number of bookshops each serving a somewhat different demographic. In the Border’s I would flip through the accordion of Nox.
Al Purdy supposedly had an A-Frame cabin somewhere in Canada.
Al Purdy, being a poet and not a baseball player, doesn't have a batting average in the traditional sense. However, if we were to metaphorically assign him a "batting average" based on the quality and impact of his poetry, he would likely have a very high one. Purdy is considered one of the most important Canadian poets of the 20th century, known for his distinctive voice, vivid imagery, and exploration of Canadian themes and landscapes. His works have been widely studied and celebrated, earning him numerous awards and accolades throughout his career. Therefore, metaphorically speaking, his "batting average" in the realm of poetry would be quite impressive.
While studying in Buffalo, Fred Wah was called by Vincent Gallo (asshole) to play the part of his father in Buffalo 66. Wah refused to take any of Gallo’s calls and requests. His consistent ability to produce meaningful and impactful work would likely result in a high score if we were to translate it into a baseball statistic.
Seamus Heaney despite being no longer among the living ChatGPT returned Heaney among the list of greatest living poets. Supposedly it adds new depth to the immortality of the word.
Therefore, metaphorically speaking, Seamus Heaney's "batting average" in the realm of poetry would be extraordinarily high.
Michael Ondaatje wrote the English Patient. My grandma and I would rent movies from Blockbuster when I stayed over. We would do a double feature. She’d choose one movie; I choose the second movie. One night we watched The Sixth Sense followed by The English Patient. I might’ve fallen asleep shortly after Haley Joel Osment sees the ghosts in the school. So I’ve never seen The English Patient.
Mary Oliver lives forever on a server somewhere.
Louise Gluck has a book about flowers. I always picked it up off the shelf at the public library, then thumbed through it for a few minutes. One of those poets that I thought I should enjoy, but actually I’d prefer to read Marianne Moore’s baseball poems. Angels in the Outfield could be their favorite movie now.
Everyone here receives a .1000 batting average!
Nice job ChatGPT.
If you’d like ChatGPT to rate your favorite poet or baseball player with any metric, please comment below and we’ll follow up with an essay later on.
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That is one creepy "photo"....
Interesting! What a time we’re living in. :)